Just for giggles

A lot of the scientific journals publish spoof articles at this time of year. For some of the entertaining medical ones, check out http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/the-best-of-the-british-medical-journals-goofy-christmas-papers-180948177/?no-ist

So here is my silly xmas blog entry.


I see a lot of links, particularly on facebook, to lists. Silly lists. List like '12 things every girl with a big Butt will know is true', '15 things flat-chested girls will understand' 'Stuff you will understand if you are a curvy girl'. They're not just limited to body shape. I've also seen lists of 'Things you will understand if you are from [insert place name here].' 'Things you will get if you are married to a [insert occupation of spouse here].


Here is my own inane list of stuff...
Things you may just have experienced if you are a female endurance runner!

•  Trouser waistlines that are stupidly baggy whilst the legs only just fit over your massive thighs.

• Not being able to find any summer clothing that suitable hides the chafe marks from your last long run.

• Farting/blowing your nose on your sleeve/describing your bowel movements, then suddenly realising you're not in the company of runners, whilst your collegues/friends look on at you in disgust.

• The embarrasment (and little bit of pride) you feel when changing in a public place, whilst knowing that your body looks like it's recently gone through a heavy S&M session. 

• The look of annoyance on someones face when they ask 'how far did you run today' and you reply 'Oh, only 15 or so miles'. And you just know they're thinking what a smug git you are!

• The idea of a pedicure. Even if you had any toenails left, all the nail polish in the world isn't going to make your leathery feet look any better. 

• Oh, and those fish-pedicure things? Yeah, like those little buggers could handle the rock-solid skin on the soles of your feet!

• Someone saying 'you're so lucky, you can eat what you want and stay thin', without realising that you would probably be morbidly obese if you ate that amount without training the amount you do.

• (For medical runners only...explaining to a patient that they're overweight and need to diet/exercise and them replying 'oh it's alright for you, I bet you eat whatever you want and stay that thin')

• The question 'so how many times do you stop and sleep whan you're doing a hundred mile run?'

• Owning one item of party-wear. And the rest of your wardrobe is taken up with running-gear.

• The isolated feeling of being the only girl queuing for the squat rack in the gym.

• The liberating realisation, (after 80-odd miles, when your legs are so trashed that you can't squat down) that it's not only guys who can pee standing up. 

This list is by no means complete! Please feel free to send me suggestions, and I will add them to the list (properly cited, of course!)

Merry xmas all.