This blog is now a diary of my recovery. If it goes well, then hopefully it will be an inspiration to any other runners who find themselves with a similar injury.
At the end of each blog entry I am including a 'victory' section, to remind myself of positive things I have achieved at a difficult time.
This diary starts on the afternoon of 31/1/16 - one month into the shittest year of my life so far. For the first time in my life I awoke from general anaesthetic. I don't really remember much of the rest of the day. Mr Stitson, the surgeon who operated on me, visited and told jason and I that they had managed to get relatively good fixation considering the degree of comminution. That night I went into a drug-induced sleep. I woke the next morning and immediately started crying as the realisation of how much my coming year had changed and the fear of never running again washed over me yet again.
I went through my Facebook and email messages again. In honesty, many of the ones I had read on the Sunday had been spirited away by the combination of residual anaesthetic and opiates. I had so many wonderful and kind messages, offers of help, reminders of how strong I am. I know so many wonderful people. Reading these again gave me a bit of a boost. I was visited by Caroline and Lorraine from the rota office who brought me a load of fruit and goodies, and by Kenny from the medical directorate who brought me sweets and wished me well. Matron Sue also came to see me. Sue is amazing. She has so much energy and is always so kind and understanding. I cried when i saw her, and that started her crying. All these wonderful people, it was like being visited by family.
The postoperative instructions were that I was to remain in a full leg backslab non weight bearing for 2 weeks and that I could go home when I was able to mobile on crutches. Andy, one of the physios I know from my ortho days, came to see me teach me how to use crutches . He and the ward SHO looked through my op note, looked serious and did the medical equivalent of sucking air in through their teeth like a mechanic with a car that was going to cost a load to fix. "Small defect in the articular surface " i heard one of them say. Thanks guys. Because pessimism was what i really needed right now. That's the trouble with being a medic in this situation. You know what all the little details mean and tend to focus on the worst potential outcome.
Andy walked me up the ward and checked out that I could use the stairs. I got back to my bed, sweating like a horse but fairly comfortable from a pain point of view. I then stupidly decided to take my new crutches out for a spin around the hospital, not realising quite how much anaesthetic was still going round in my system and how much the femoral nerve block the anaesthetist had put in was still numbing the pain. I got to the Drs post room, picked up some mail I was expecting, went to the rota office to say hi to Caroline and Lorraine who had visited me earlier in the day. At that stage I started to feel pretty strange, sweaty and the pain in my leg was becoming quite prevalent. I headed back up to the ward, and made it just before I thought I was about to pass out. I spent the following 2 hours absolutely sparko on my bed and when I woke I had to seriously ramp up the amount of painkillers I was taking.
Jason came to pick me up later that afternoon. The wonderful staff of Shaugh ward wished me well, and Larissa teased me to go easy on the Oramorph. and Andy from the discharge team wheeled me down to the exit. His progress was slowed as we passed lots of people I knew who all wanted to ask what had happened and then to wish me well.
When I got home Jase got me settled on the sofa. The police were visiting that evening to take a statement so my plan was to wait downstairs until they had been and then head upstairs to bed. The pain in my leg was really starting to become difficult to manage and I was maxed out on the painkillers. When it came to getting upstairs I was in tears, every tiny jolt sent pain screaming through my whole leg. In the end I had to go up backwards on my arse while jason held my leg up off the ground.
The next issue was using the toilet. I had succeeded in this on the ward, but now, with all the nerve block gone from my anaesthetic, I simply couldn't manage the pain involved in sitting on the toilet. In the end I came up with the solution of peeing into a jug while standing. Genius.
Jase helped me into bed, and balanced my leg up on a pile consisting of all the cushions and pillows in the house. Damn, I was missing the adjustable hospital bed. Even with it elevated and my next dose of Oramorph on board I was in agony, and I cried myself to sleep while jason stroked my hair and told me that everything was going to be ok.
Victories:
Working through the toilet problem.
Getting over my embarrassment of peeing with another person on the room. It's just another bodily function, after all.
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| Full leg backslab on the right. The bandaging over my left "good"knee is covering the wound that had to be debrided and sutured. |
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